A friend of mine read my last post and jokingly pointed out that it must be crowded in my head. It is. Susan keeps drying her socks in the living room and Pete never leaves any hot water in the shower. And don’t get me started on Seymour…
Anyhoozle, it made me think of what’s really lurking in my mind (and oh yes, it goes waaaaay deeper than Kardashian territory) and I thought I’d share. No takesies backsies.
THERE’S SERIOUSLY NO ELBOW ROOM IN THIS JOINT…
- Whenever I watch the dog food commercial for Blue Buffalo dog food, every time they mention the “life source bits” I imagine a woman pleading on the floor with her Chihuahua to “just eat the damn life source bits! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Leonard, just eat the damn bits!” And then I start to feel sorry for all dogs everywhere because who would want to eat something referred to as “life source bits”? Not I. Said the fly.
- My twin is out there. Somewhere. She has tattoos.
- My husband recently shared his philosophy that after the apocalypse there will be two breed of people: leaders and readers. Leaders are individuals who have no sight issues and lead the readers around so they don’t trip on tree stumps or mistake a fire for a cuddly bear. Readers are people who can see up close, thus reading to the entire group so the leaders’ brains don’t go all mushy and cause them to walk everyone right off a cliff. I see no flaws in this logic, except for the part where he left out that Milla Jovovich will save us all from our eventual demise.
- Have you ever noticed that if you stay awake in bed long enough, the bed takes on a “sickly” effect, thus enacting a “sick bed” situation where the sheets and comforter become body temperature warm which almost always keeps you awake even longer? No? Me neither.
- I think I could be best friends with Lil Wayne. There. I said it.