I’ve been published. Not in the “J.K. Rowling” sort of way but in the “being pestered by my Grandmother to sign yet another copy of my book for a family member and/or stray dog wandering the street” sort of way. I primarily write fiction like short stories and novels (and poetry but only after watching Honey Boo Boo while drinking), but now I’m branching out into humor/memoir-esque territory with this blog and have a few ideas about writing a non-fiction book to permanently brand my flavor of crazy. I’d like to start working on a proposal soon that I’ll send out to agents and my grandmother who will tell that nice looking boy at church about me even though I’ve been married for four years.
Contact me at email@example.com if you’re an agent or publisher who’d like to learn more. A formal curriculum vitae and samples of my work are available upon request. You can also contact me if you’re Prince William so I can tell you in detail how you’ve permanently crushed fourteen-year-old Ericka’s heart.
*Oh and if the term “grandma” has perked your interest, and you happen to be a rich old dude, go here and state your case. And by “case,” I of course mean money.